


Orange To Blue Means I Made Something For You

by Working_On_A_Unified_Theory



Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Gift Giving, M/M, They/Themrey, and gordon is oblivious, another post-canon domestic au...im so creative, benrey is a lil tsundere, check out how hard i can project onto these two (furiously types out this fic), i just got carried away towards the end in general is it noticeable lol, just the way i like my ship dynamics, many much hugs (very long hug)s, maybe just....a few lil kissies...as a treat, no beta we die like dumbasses, this got kinda hurt/comfort-y towards the end but also not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:47:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24824065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Working_On_A_Unified_Theory/pseuds/Working_On_A_Unified_Theory
Summary: Showing appreciation has never been something Benrey was good at. Luckily for them, they had finally found a way to do so that didn’t involve words. But would Gordon be able to pick up on it this way?
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 16
Kudos: 309





	Orange To Blue Means I Made Something For You

**Author's Note:**

> grr i hate having to come up with titles!!! *slams face into my desk repeatedly* i just want to post fics!!! *gets a concussion*
> 
> hello i am jus. dumping this oneshot real quick. woke up in the middle of the night like a week ago with this idea and i’ve been slowly working it out since then. i wrote most of it in small chunks, aside from the last part. this is really self indulgent but i got super carried away while writing this and it somehow ended up 3000+ words. 
> 
> i’m still working on the next chapter for my other fic, but i’m still a lil wrapped up in some shit atm, but i’ll have more time to work on it by next week! expect more soon!
> 
> anyway! that’s enough rambling from me. hope you enjoy reading it! <3

Benrey had never been the creative type. They just weren’t cut out for it, it seemed like. They’ve tried a lot of stuff, but none of it ever stuck. Acting has always been difficult for them, since they have a lot of trouble properly expressing themselves. Same goes for dancing. Their body isn’t quite as flexible as necessary for such a skill. Drawing, painting and writing were things they never had the patience for, and it just didn’t feel very rewarding for them in the long run.

That’s why they’ve mostly stuck to gaming. Though it’s far from any kind of professional, prestigious ‘skill’, they’d be damned if they weren’t good at it. It has been the way they spent most of their past-time. They were pretty sure they could keep playing games for all eternity if they so wished, but their roommate, Gordon, kept insisting that they do something else than spend all their waking hours in front of a screen. They weren’t sure if his sentiment was out of concern or annoyance, or maybe a mix of both. Either way, they always brushed his words off in a joking manner, not taking the situation seriously.

But luckily they had found themselves another hobby not long ago. One they might not excel at, but one that they at the very least enjoyed doing.

Embroidery.

They had somehow found themselves watching a tutorial video on the subject while doing some late night web surfing. It had fully captured their attention somehow, leaving them unable to look away—unable to blink, even—for the entire duration of the video. It was quite a slow tutorial, but Benrey didn’t mind. In fact, it felt more inviting to them that way. They were spectating and processing every hand movement, every stitch, and every word of the calm voiceover. By the end of the video they’d already convinced themselves that they wanted to try this. It looked do-able, and at the very least fun. They were by no means getting bored of video games, but a change of pace would do them good, as Gordon had suggested. They spent the rest of the night binge-watching more of these types of videos, unable to drag their attention elsewhere until they got sleepy.

A few days later they decided to go thrift shopping for something cheap to do some embroidery on. They had been practicing using plain fabric lying around the house, but this was going to be the real deal. Gordon had been kind enough to give them some money for their endeavors, which was surprising to Benrey since he didn’t really trust them with that kind of stuff. It wasn’t a lot anyway, but it was most certainly enough to buy at least one item of clothing.

Benrey had found a second-hand store online which looked interesting enough to them, and decided to go thrifting there. They felt weirdly out of place in the building. It seemed like everyone around them knew exactly what business they had here and what they were doing. So did Benrey, of course, but they still felt awkward. They didn’t leave the house that much, after all. They figured they should just start looking around before they’d draw too much attention to themselves.

Most of the stuff there was what you’d expect from a second-hand store. Old, uncomfortable-looking dresses that have gone out of style centuries ago, plain and single-colored shirts...the prices matched the quality, of course. But they absolutely didn’t want to be caught dead wearing any of these clothes. Their fashion sense is poor, but even they knew better. They were about to stop their search, when they spotted the _perfect item_ out of the corner of their eye.

It was a long-sleeved denim jacket tinted with a dark blue-ish color, very pleasing to the eye. The fabric on the outside was rich with a rough yet satisfying texture, while the inside was soft and warm, still making it comfortable to wear. There was only one problem: the size. It was too big for them. Their hands got completely buried in the jacket’s sleeves when they tried to put it on, and the fabric on the outside wasn’t loose enough for it to be rolled up properly.

Benrey contemplated going home right then and there after this disappointment, but then an idea struck them. They checked the measurements of the jacket, and from what they could remember from all the times they had been forced to do the laundry, this should be around Gordon’s size. At least enough so that it would fit him comfortably. Holding out the jacket in front of themselves at arms length, they imagined how he would look wearing it. They quickly stopped when they felt their face heat up when picturing it, however. 

It was decided, they thought to themselves. They’ll make this into a gift for their roommate. While paying for the article of clothing at the checkout point, they were already trying to come up with some ideas for any embroidery patterns they could sew onto it. They knew he liked physics—he often infodumped about it to them, and they always listened despite not understanding most of it—so maybe they could make something along those lines for him. They almost started zoning out, but they were snapped back into reality by the clerk asking them if they wanted a bag for it. They refused, as they had already brought a small bag for the clothing, and walked out of the store with the jacket, visibly excited.

They were brainstorming about cool patterns and text to embroider onto to it while walking back home. They felt tired yet also full of ideas once they got home. Gordon was there in the living room, watching TV, when he greeted them.

“How’d it go? You got anything good?”

Benrey, carrying the bag with one of their arms, but their free hand in the bag to pat the piece of clothing down, just to make sure he wouldn’t accidentally see it. They didn’t want to spoil the surprise, even if Gordon didn’t know it was going to be one yet.

“uh, yeah. got some pretty epic loot.”

“Nice, can I see it?”

“not yet.”

“Oh, right. I suppose it’d look way better after you’re finished embroidering it anyway, right?”

“something like that.”

Benrey was glad that he was so supportive of their new hobby, even if they only started a few days ago.

“Well, anyway, good luck with it! I assume you want to get started right away, at least. You look quite giddy if I’m being honest.” Gordon chuckled, and Benrey felt his face heat up again at his comment.

“yeah, well, whatever. i’m gonna uh, head to my room and work on it now. cya.”

They swiftly headed to their room without waiting for a response.

After doing some brief research on the subject of physics, making a variety of potential designs based on their new-found knowledge and deciding where to put them on this jacket, he got to stitching. They had made two identical round patches with the lambda symbol on them, akin to the one Gordon had on his HEV suit. Due to the limited colors of threads Benrey currently had, they had to mix up the hues a bit, but they turned out fine. They had sewn one on each shoulder, making sure that they were at the same height on both sides. 

As for the rest of the jacket, they decided to just fill it up with all the different formulas that they could find. It was a long and tiresome process, as they had decided to put them pretty much everywhere. On the front, the back, the sleeves and even the collar. When it was finally finished, though, they gave it one long look-over before deciding they were satisfied with it. They were considering waiting for a bit before giving it to Gordon, but their nerves got to them. Wanting to get rid of said nerves, they ultimately decided on gifting it to them right away. After building up the courage first, that is. Taking a deep breath, Benrey walked up to the door to their room to open it, jacket behind their back, and then proceeded to walk into the living room.

The TV was still on, but Gordon was also scrolling through his phone, probably not paying attention to whatever was on the other screen. As he heard Benrey close their door he immediately turned his head to look towards them. The first thing he noticed was that they weren’t wearing their helmet. They must’ve taken it off and have forgotten to put it back on while working, or something. Either way, he was thrilled to see whatever it was they had made.

“Is it finished?”

Benrey, still carrying the piece of clothing behind their back, walked towards them in a sly manner. They tried their best to keep up their usual smug façade in an attempt to keep their worry about whether or not he would like it in line. You could never be too sure, after all. I mean, they were pretty sure he was at least going to appreciate the gift, right? Hopefully? What if he doesn’t end up liking it? What if he doesn’t want any gifts right now? Is that a reasonable thought to have? They didn’t even know anymore, so they decided to just go for it. After a silence that definitely lasted too long, they responded.

“yeah, but uh, i kinda lied about it being like, for myself.”

“Oh? What do you mean?” Gordon tilted his head, eyes lighting up at the same time. He already had a feeling where this was going, but he asked them anyway.

“i, uh...i...made something. for...uh...for you.” Benrey looked everywhere but at Gordon, though mostly eyeing the ground. This was harder to do than they had anticipated. Though after yet another short moment where neither of them said anything, Gordon got up from the couch and walked towards Benrey, who was still holding this ‘something’ behind their back.

“For me? Like a gift?”

“yeah duh. t-that’s what i just said, dumbass. listen more carefully next time. you big loser.”

Gordon let out a short laugh at their remarks. He knew that they were just joking around, after all. He also figured it had something to do with the somewhat obvious shade of red spreading across their face, but he decided not to comment on that.

“So...can I have it? Not to be rude, but you’re starting to make me really curious here.”

Benrey seemed to hesitate for a moment, but then firmly grabbed the jacket and held it out towards him, still avoiding eye contact.

Gordon just, looked at it for a bit. He needed some time to process this. To be honest, he still hadn’t processed the fact that the person who was partially responsible for cutting off his hand was now giving him a heartfelt gift. He honestly couldn’t care less about the quality, the idea behind it would have meant so much to him already. Luckily for him, he noticed the quality wasn’t lacking in the slightest once he took a good look at it. He recognized all the formulas, lighting up every time he spotted a new one. For a while, he couldn’t do anything else but just stare at the jacket.

He was at a loss for words at the sight of his roommate’s gift, wearing what he could only imagine to be an utterly dumbfounded look on his face. Though Benrey’s handwriting always stuck out to him as childish and unreadable most of the time, the stitched letters, numbers and symbols were surprisingly pristine-looking. Writing and sewing are very different things, of course, and Gordon was perfectly aware of this, but it left him completely speechless nonetheless. He looked at the thing for what felt to him like only six seconds, but what felt to Benrey like several hours.

Then they decided to speak up.

“so d—uh, do you like it?” Benrey was trying their hardest not to let their voice crack or stutter. This situation has filled them to the brim with anxiety and they felt like they could collapse at any moment.

“I-“ Gordon couldn’t manage to let out any other sound for a few seconds. He didn’t know whether it was because he had never seen such a genuine and kind gesture from the security guard, or if he just liked the gift that much. 

“I... fucking _love_ it. I’m so...It’s perfect.”

Benrey, now brave enough to look at Gordon’s face, noticed his eyes were completely lit up. Almost to a comical degree. He abruptly grabbed the jacket, now clutching it close to his chest, holding onto it as if his life depended on it. Benrey wasn’t looking at Gordon very closely, they didn’t dare to, but they could swear they saw his eyes tear up. They didn’t know how to react if they were being honest with themselves.

“y—uh...you wanna try it on? maybe?”

“Oh right! Yeah, gimme a sec.”

Gordon took off the sweatshirt he was wearing in one fell swoop. He was wearing a shirt underneath, but Benrey still averted their eyes out of politeness. When they looked back again after a moment, the jacket they had so lovingly made for him was now comfortably draped over his body. He still had to stick his right arm through the sleeve, but soon enough he was wearing the thing with a satisfied look on his face, his eyes beaming. For a moment, he was speechless yet again.

“Wow man I...I don’t think I have the words for...for this.”

“so uh, that means—that means you like it, right?”

Gordon stared at Benrey for a few seconds with a confused look on his face, before laughing softly.

“Are you kidding? Of course I like it! Why else would I be at a loss for words just...looking at it? Because I hate it? No way, man.”

“oh, yeah, i uh, of course i knew that. just wanted to make sure, y’know?”

“Well, just so you can ‘make sure’, I love it. I really do. But most of all, I, uh, how do it put this...I appreciate that _you_ specifically made this for me. No offense, but I—it’s not something I expected from _you_ of all people.”

Benrey wanted to say something, a playful jab in return, a shitty joke maybe. They even considered giving him a genuine response. But for whatever reason, their ability to speak had left them in that moment. They just stood there, mouth agape, with what they could only assume must’ve been a spectacularly ridiculous look on their face. Though they swore they could feel a hint of something warm and wet rolling down their cheeks.

“Oh shit, man. I-I’m sorry I didn’t mean to....say that. Was that too rude? Geez, I—ugh, c’mere.”

Gordon widely spread his arms, gesturing for Benrey to...to...

They wasted no time and sprinted towards Gordon, even though they were only a few feet apart. They locked their arms around him as soon as they could, now comfortably resting their head against his collarbone. Gordon, although taken by surprise, didn’t pause very long before resting his head on top of theirs. Though he was still a bit confused as to why Benrey...reacted the way they did, he wasn’t going to be insistent. Instead, he wanted to calm them down by planting a reassuring kiss on the top of their scalp. Little did he know that this had the exact opposite effect on Benrey. They felt their face heat up, which they desperately tried to hide by burying their head deeper in between Gordon’s neck and shoulders. His body heat was...calming. Therapeutic, even. Gordon’s hands had their upper body almost completely encased like a cocoon. They felt safe and secure like this, as stupid as it sounded. Yeah, obviously they were crushing on their roommate big time, but they had never felt this way before. It was absolute bliss.

They just stood there like that for a few minutes, Benrey still gripping the other tightly. Gordon had a loose hold on his roommate, on the other hand. But he gave the top of their head a little smooch every once in a while. Benrey both loved this—for obvious reasons—and hated this, because it was unbearably tough to prevent the Sweet Voice from slipping past their lips. After the fifth time or so, they couldn’t manage it anymore and a ton of orbs had escaped their mouth.

Gordon pulled himself out of their comfortable hug—much to Benrey’s dismay—, seeming startled by the sudden noise. Benrey, now forced to retreat from the soothing warmth, looked down at their feet awkwardly to avoid getting caught with a crimson shade across their cheeks. Meanwhile, various strands of orbs were still being emitted by them.

“Pink to...blue?” Gordon softly spoke. "What rhymes with that...?" He said to himself, though Benrey still overheard him.

“why do you care? huh? you gonna be a lil--lil fuckin detective or something?”

Gordon chuckled, now resting his hands on Benrey’s shoulders.

“Well, whatever. Are you...ok? I know I’m not the best at comforting people, but I—it’s the least I could do, you know?”

Benrey only nodded in response, but Gordon didn’t seem satisfied with their answer. He lifted his hands off their shoulders, only to move them up and place them slightly above the other’s ears, one hand on each side. Benrey didn’t have much time to react before Gordon tilted their head up and gave them the smallest, gentlest peck on their forehead. They tried their very hardest to not just collapse into him right at that moment. Gordon was now able to see their face for the first time in what has been quite a while. His expression turned into one of concern at the sight of their tomato-colored visage. Being as oblivious as he is, he assumed that they had a fever of some kind.

“Woah, are you doing alri—“

“damn dude that was pretty ga—“

They both interrupted the silence at the same time. Gordon wore a puzzled look on his face, but after a few seconds everything seemed to click together for him. Oh fuck. He had just finished processing what he had done. Benrey seemed amused by the sudden changes in his expression.

“Oh my God I—I’m so sorry I didn’t...I didn’t realize that I—I swear I didn’t mean it like that it was just like...like a reflex. Yeah, a reflex you know? I-I always do that to calm Joshua down and I...you...I just followed my instinct, alright?”

“and your instinct was to...kiss my forehead?” Benrey was now the one teasing _him_. How the turntables...

“ _No_ , my _instinct_ was to _comfort_ you.”

“yeahh i don’t know man, still sounds pretty gay to me.”

“Well I—what would you have _wanted_ me to do, then?”

“...give me more kisses...maybe...”

Gordon wasn’t sure if they were being genuine this time or just joking around again. He let out a chuckle anyway.

“Well, maybe if you make some more really nice gifts for me—and maybe treat me more nicely in general—I might give you some more kisses as a reward. Who knows?”

Gordon told himself that he was just joking at first, and he was pretty sure that Benrey was joking too. But they showered him with handcrafted gifts in the following weeks, all specifically catered to his interests. Gordon, as promised, gave them his affection in return. _But, like, as a joke, of course._

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! kudos and comments are always appreciated! <3


End file.
